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I may have already won....

So today i found out that i had won a award last year at the thanksgiving dinner for the KaCSFFS. (my science fiction group i belong to) The award was ment to take and show appreciation to people that do stuff that is under appreciated. I never got the award. I never was told about the award. I was never even asked if i got the award. Sigh, and i was told that i should not feel bad because it was some one elses fault that i never got it. But all i can see is the fact that i am not liked enough by people to tell me stuff. That i am, still in my mind, easily forgotten. For some its the fact i am always there so i am not told about stuff because they automaticly know that i will be there or already know some thing about it. I am often used for stuff that i don't want to do, (mainly because i am not asked to do so) since they already know i will help. I'm not asked to do certain stuff that i would want to because they forget about me. So fun stuff i am forgotten, work i am automaticly placed in to that pile. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. The following happened last year, I ask to go with people to a event and they will get me there. So the day of the event arives and i sit waiting. I called one of them and nothing, no answer. I find out later that they had asked some one else to get me and i was promtly forgotten. 2 groups of people telling me that i am easily forgotten. Of course i have asked one of those groups to take me to this event over and over for years. I have a rather large list of people that said they would do some thing but for got that they said they will do it. me not wanting to hurt there own feelings tend to never remind them, even when they ask if they had for got to do some thing. it hurts me when they hurt my feelings and it causes me pain when i hurt there feelings.

oh and lets face it, being told that a group of people forgot to tell you some thing for a entire year sucks. But having this thing happen more each year.....


Uncle Duke
Jimmy Hollaman and GUS

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